Vacation

I had a pretty good vacation. It was nice to not have my friends around. To not have so much anxiety, to not be without the main source of stress in my life, to not hear the triggering sound of hangouts ding every day. It was nice to be me. To take of my mask. To take of my social layer, to be me, to be with my family, to be with the people who truly love me, who would never betray me, who I can trust. It was nice to laugh, to talk with out the back of my mind screaming these people hate me. It was nice to smile, knowing it was genuine. It was nice to feel loved every night, with goodnight wishes that are real. It was nice to laugh and smile and sing and tease, knowing it was all real. I loved that vacation, and I really needed it. Now I know, my "friends" are not my friends, they are people who are hurting me, hurting my mental health, and who are making my life so much worse. I don't need that right now, and I am ready to stand up and shout.